When you face the choice to stay in your marriage or go, there are endless factors to consider. As your brain navigates through your emotions of fight, flight, and freeze you are unable to access your logical and reasoning brain functions. Contemplating or pursuing divorce can take you on a roller-coaster of emotions. There are several tools I share with my clients as they navigate this process.
First, address your emotions. Sit with them and feel them in your body. Breathe and allow your feelings to flow through you. Emotions are energy-in-motion (E-motion) and they should not be stifled or dismissed. When you are in an adrenaline state, your Reptilian brain is activated because you feel threatened by divorce. You hear yourself repeat your stories over and over to your friends and trusted sources. It becomes necessary to move out of your story.
The next step is to shift and look at divorce as business. Quite likely it is the greatest business decision of your life. Your finances are impacted, your home is impacted, your work-life is impacted. This is business and you need to use your highest form of logical thinking to make smart decisions for yourself and your children. Reciting how you have been wronged sets you on a downward spiral. It is necessary to move out of overwhelm and inaction and find your motivation to move forward.
Staying in the story of your divorce keeps you stuck in the past, rather than focusing upon moving forward. Your next steps include getting organized for the process, identifying your wants and needs, and effectively communicating these – all while avoiding the dangerous pitfalls!
You can move from feeling powerless to being empowered! Allow me to be your guide on the side.
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