Originally published 05/12/2019
Having lost my mom as a teen, and become a mom in my mid thirties, Mother’s Day comes with many expectations.
When I think of my mom on Mother’s Day, I am filled with deep sadness and grief. Despite over forty years having passed, absence of mother-love leaves a huge gap for all of us who have lost our mom.
Fortunately, there is the gift of the present moment. There are moments in which I feel my own strength and resilience, rather than the emptiness that stems from loss. What I have learned from grief has steered me to be centered in peace and presence. Express gratitude for your grief. Grief and resilience do not coexist. A shift in focus must occur. Honor your grief as you feel it, and when you are ready, thank your grief for putting you in touch with your feelings. Then, turn away from the past, and get grounded in where you are now. Here and now is where resilience lies.
As a mom, being present with my children as they are is the key to happiness. Releasing any expectation of how their love shows up is paramount to joy. Accept your children as they are, how they present to you, and choose to respond in a way that shows you love yourself! Be true to yourself regardless of your children’s behavior. If you push against your child’s behavior and wish or hope that they treat you in a different way, you are putting up walls of resistance. When you can accept your child as they are, and most importantly, respond to them in manner so that you can love and accept yourself, you experience the true joy of motherhood. Accepting them. Loving yourself. Happy Mother’s Day!